Mom: “Well, I think I have convinced your father to buy me a new light fixture for over the kitchen table. Do you think David would help him install it?”
Me: “Sure he can. I am excited! It will look so much better.”
Mom (with a smirk in her tone; we have been scheming about this for weeks): “Now all I have to do is convince him we need to replace that fluorescent light over the island.”
My Dad in the background: “What IDIOT suggested that?!?! That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. That will be so expensive! Only an IDIOT would suggest doing that!”
Mom: “Mary Beth suggested it.”
Silence in the background...
Me: “Tell Dad I dare him to read 30 issues of Country Living in a row and not come up with a better idea for that light over the island. If he can do it, he wins.”
If you want to piss my Dad off just mention the fluorescent light fixture over the kitchen island. If you want to piss me off read 30 issues of Country Living in a row and remain devoid of fabulous ideas for home improvement.
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
2 years ago
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