Things on the Mind...

Yesterday my mom and I went shopping to pick me up some new jeans. I had intended on buying one pair of "nice" jeans from the GAP and two pairs of "work" jeans from Wal-Mart or something. I also needed a pair of black sunglasses because I have continually been breaking the fashion code of wearing brown sunglasses with everything. They are a $20.00 Target pair and I love them, but they do not go with my many black outfits and they are getting a little worn out. So I buy some beautiful Fossils that are black on the outside and marbled green on the inside, then we went to the GAP. Now, please let me know if anyone agrees with my next theory. I love the GAP, because, like I have blogged about before, they carry jeans that are long enough for me. However, it is still hard for me to find a pair that I really like and fit me well, because two pairs that are the same size, cut, everything, always seem to fit differently. That is good I guess because it means they are made by hand and are high quality, but it means that I have only ever found a small handful of jeans from there that I love love love. So that is my theory, that no two pairs are alike. Anyway, yesterday I was wearing a pair of my love love love GAP jeans that are a size 8. I have gained some weight since I got married; nothing huge, just like 5 or 6 pounds, but I now need a size 10. I took 4 pairs into the dressing room with me, and the first two I tried on did NOT fit. My mom suggested I go get size 12 in both. I suggested I go jump off a cliff. Thankfully, the next two I tried on fit very well. I was amazed that in one sitting I found two pairs that worked out; that never happens. The other bad thing about GAP jeans is the fact that they cost a fortune. But, I was lucky, so I bought both and now will be wearing $70.00 jeans to move the dusty nasty Museum collection. The point of this is is that while I was standing there in the jeans department looking for a size 10L, I inwardly recalled the days when I could wear a size 6L with no problemo. *weep* But, on the other hand, I do not recall a time that I was not self-conscious about my weight. Even when I weighed 100 lbs at the staggering 5'10" that I am still today, I worried about what I ate and the jeans that I bought. How did this happen? I look back on pictures of Young Mary Beth and want to tell her to eat all the McDonalds she wants!! Do it now while your metabolism allows it!! But I can't. Why? Because she is me, and I still obsess about my weight. I am comfortable in my size 10L jeans because I like having curves and boobs, but I will use the close call of buying size 12s as my reason to get off my butt and go the gym every once and a while.